Hello Dr, I a am 30 years old male. I got married 9 months back. I used to snore while sleeping. Unfortunately, my wife is complaining me daily that I am either pricking her with my leg/hand or snore in her ears. Main point here is that she says I am awake during that time and she is complaining that I am doing it intentionally to disturb her sleep. There is no specific time for the same. It happens any time in the night or early morning. Actually, I am not aware of those activities. Even if I say to her that I didn't remember about those above said activities, she is clearly saying that I am very well awake during that time. She even says that my eyes are open sometimes but I am not aware of anything. Kindly help me out to understand what kind of problem it is and to help me to overcome the same. Thanks in Advance.

Thank you for your question.With the history that you provided, I understand that you have an uncommon sleep disorder known as REM Sleep behavioral disorder. It presents exactly as your wife might have noticed during this period.
First, I assure you that , although it might be disturbing but not a very serious disorder. It needs treatment which may be easily provided by a psychiatrist whom you can visit. Meanwhile try practising certain sleep hygeine principles like:
1. Avoid napping during the day; it can disturb the normal pattern of sleep and wakefulness.
2. Avoid stimulants such as caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol too close to bedtime. While alcohol is well known to speed the onset of sleep, it disrupts sleep in the second half as the body begins to metabolize the alcohol, causing arousal.
3. Exercise can promote good sleep. Vigorous exercise should be taken in the morning or late afternoon. A relaxing exercise, like yoga, can be done before bed to help initiate a restful night's sleep.
4. Food can be disruptive right before sleep; stay away from large meals close to bedtime. Also dietary changes can cause sleep problems,
5. Ensure adequate exposure to natural light. Light exposure helps maintain a healthy sleep-wake cycle.
6. Establish a regular relaxing bedtime routine. Try to avoid emotionally upsetting conversations and activities before trying to go to sleep. Don't dwell on, or bring your problems to bed.
7. Associate your bed with sleep. It's not a good idea to use your bed to watch TV, listen to the radio, or read.
8. Make sure that the sleep environment is pleasant and relaxing. The bed should be comfortable, the room should not be too hot or cold, or too bright.

Wishing you good health and peaceful sleep.

•  insomnia
•  snoring
•  Marital Therapy
•  sleep disorders
•  sleep hygeine

Patient asked followup Question: 11 years ago

Thanks Dr for your response. Whatever you have said is true. I have a very bad sleeping behavior. It includes bad sleeping time (late), Not sleeping enough regularly, Having little heavy meals just before going to bed, less physical activities (Currently I am immobilized as I have a fracture in my leg). Meanwhile, I have few more queries regarding the same. 1) Is it possible that I could do the above said things with my eyes open? 2) It is true that it happens mainly during early mornings. Is it possible that it can happen just after I sleep (in 30 minutes or so)?. 3) As said about RBD, I am having lot of dreams which disturbs me but it is not true always when I do the above said things. I can't recollect the dream always. Is it normal? 4) There are only 2 ways of disturbing everytime (pricking her leg using my leg/ pricking her hand using my hand). Is the cause same as RBD 5) Is snoring at her ears is related to this or is it just a coincidence that I was snoring when my face is near her ear? Can snoring noise differs with different position? 6) Above all, it has become an integrity issue with my wife as she complains that I am lying (Unaware of what happened). I don't know how to make her understand. Please help me to avoid the same.

To answer your your follow up queries :
1. Yes, it is quite possible that you be doing these actions while your eyes are open.
2. Yes, it is possible as whenever you go into REM sleep you might have these symptoms.
3. Yes, this too is part of your sleep behavioral disorder.
4. Yes
5. No you do not do it consciously and it is only a coincidence due to your sleep positions.
6. I understand your predicament in making your wife believe your version as you too are not aware of your actions. It is best advised that both of you visit a psychiatrist for the treatment of your condition as well as couple therapy. Meanwhile you can access websites such as American College of Sleep Medicine or Royal College of Psychiatrists for reliable information about your condition.

•  insomnia
•  snoring
•  sleep disorders
•  REM Behavioral Disorders
•  Couple Therapy