I understand that you might be going through a bad phase currently. Firstly, this phase will end sooner or later so keep the faith. Secondly when you are over this phase then is the time to seek help for strengthening your personality and seeking answers for your problems that began in your childhood.
You might also be suffering from emotionally unstable personality disorder for which you need psychiatric consultation soon.
As for your boss since you cannot quit for a year I will recommend that ...
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